Hey Everyone, how are you doing? Today's post is not going to be a book related one, because I just wanted to do a bit more personal one. I love writing about books, but sometimes I feel like talking about different kind of things, that happen in life. So, today I am going to talk about this year, kind of. As you could read in my wrap-up post (click here to read it) I got accepted to university and although I am really happy, thoughts just come to my head. I am a person, who is not a big fan of big changes. And although sometimes changes are good for you and are inevitable, it's still hard and scary. And this year so far has been the year of big changes. So many things happened in such a sort time and I feel a little bit lost amongst them. Leaving high school was a big change. Although I wasn't the biggest fan of it, it is still a big milestone in your life and it's a big deal. After that you're definitely not a kid. You're an adult. At the time I honestly felt like I don't even know how to be a teenager, let alone an adult. I was always an athlete. And that leads to the other big change: leaving figure skating. And there we are: I am not an athlete anymore. And it doesn't affect my everyday life so much as it affects my identity. It's just weird, because it was such a basic thing in my life, it was like my name or my birth date. Sounds awkward and silly, but think about it: How would you feel like, if you couldn't introduce yourself with your name anymore?! Now, I am laughing at myself for writing such things down. But really, I am still trying to figure out, who I have grown to be besides an athlete. Besides the girl, who loves to write and read books and watch TV-shows. I wasn't a very social-person until this point, but I was always tired, so that explains it. But what if I am a very social person? I am thinking about this so hard, I even questioned my love for my favorite things at one point. I am just trying to get to know this person I am now. Am I an young adult or am I still a teenager? I feel like this summer I finally got to be a real teenager and now I have to be an adult, because that'S everyone says a university student is, right?! Some people have years to be teenagers, I had two months. But at the same time I definitely feel like I am doing great, although I overthink it a little bit and I am doing right know what I want to do. Although it's hard sometimes and I am going to be honest, scary, I wouldn't change anything in my life back to how it was before. Even if I missed out on being a full-on teenager, I never for one second regret it. Because I had the most amazing "childhood" ever. and now it's time to grow up and see how I can use whatever I learned on the ice.
Now I definitely think, that I am overreacting this whole growing up, but this is how I feel. And I am sure I am not alone these feelings or I hope I am not alone... I hope you enjoyed this post and you could relate to it.
See you next time,
Bianka
No comments:
Post a Comment